My no-good-dirty-rotten-pig-stealing great-great-grandfather

               
  Today I was walking home from again the worst day at school. Some kid through my notebook in the toilet, but I couldn't just leave it there, I needed it. So as I was walking home and as I walked under this bridge a pair of shoes 'came from the sky' and fell right on top of my head. They weren't any random shoes, but they were Clyde Livingston's. A famous baseball player, who is also known as Sweetfeet donated them to a celebrity auction, which I did not know about. In court the judge obviously wouldn't believe me, when I told him they fell from the sky. I don't blame him; I blame my no-good-dirty-rotten-pig-stealing great-great grandfather. His real name was Elya Yelnats, he promised Madame Zeroni that after he would give the pig to Myra Menke that he would bring her up the mountain like he did with the pig. Elya forgot about the promise and went to America. He did remember the promise and felt bad, but what he didn't remember was the curse. Whenever anything goes bad the Yelnats family blames it on their no-good-dirty-rotten-pig-stealing great-great- grandfather.
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